So much for my wonderful plans of posting my recovery---I thought I would be good and be one of those people that think that what they say will help people and have some emotional impact on them. Instead I have taken a lot of pain meds, whined, cried a lot, learned that percocet keeps you awake-makes you tired-makes you cry-and gives you something similar to "roid rage" where if you messed up a bill or my cable signal is out you better watch out!!
There are moments I would like to scream and throw something and kick a hole in a wall and other days I curl up in my bed and think I never want to leave and it takes everything I have to get up and go to the bathroom. They said the pain would be bad, the back pain is not bad maybe because I have been in this situation for months but the pain in my stomach is bad. It's as if someone is giving a demonstration like at the fair with their Ginsu knives from the inside near my belly button and scratching my outside skin with a steel wool pad after a bad sunburn.
I know stay positive! The nerve pain down my leg is gone, my tail bone pain from the last few years gone! Not as much pain in my back but it's hard to tell as I'm still healing. Surprise Surprise the incision hasn't healed all the way, and I found blood from the one on the side which I swear last week was healed over...who knows anymore. I just wished that things would heal I feel like it holds me back.
Physical therapy keeps going twice a week, can't take it too fast they say because they don't want a set back. I know that they are good and Dave really goes the extra mile to speak to me about things. It just makes it hard when there is no comparison. No "normal" to say this is how long it will take, i'm going crazy.
Perhaps it will be different, tomorrow I start classes-won't it be weird to be a "college student" for a month, no work just school and studies and nothing else! Maybe I will try to get ahead so that once I go back to work if i'm tired it won't be so hard.
So much for plans to go to bed!
