Just a Simple Procedure

Okay without getting into too much personal information I'm going to have a minor "procedure" done soon. This will of course take care of (hopefully no promises but probably) issues I have had for years with my female parts. Of course there is a draw back to getting rid of awful pain, excessive time spent crying, ER visits, and overall fed up feelings of having to deal with this for so many years.....I can't have children anymore. Now actually I dunno why this would be a weird thought to me...After all I have a 10 year old, my husband had a vasectomy 6 months before I met him and we have been together going on 8 years and have no thoughts of quitting each other anytime soon. I don't WANT more children....But it's almost as if the thought of not BEING able to have more is what is bothering me the most. When I met my husband and realized that I was falling in love with him (about 5 days into knowing him LOL) my father brought up his fear about me dating him. That I was 20 years old and he couldn't have any more children...Was that something that I wanted to commit to for the rest of my life (aren't we all so optimistic in this time of divorce rates that we have to think about these things FOREVER!) so I did a lot of soul searching and figured out that no I didn't really want anymore...I wanted to be able to give ONE child all that she ever wanted (and yet I still fell short due to the fact that I am not independently wealthy) but I never wanted to have to chose between more than one child's future. So I was okay with that. And since I had her young I will be 36 when she is 18 and off to college...Why would I want to start out again now!?
But to my original idea here...Once I have this done I'm pretty much done...Doesn't matter if by some weird fact I have to look for another husband, Doesn't matter if I change my mind and want more...The chances of it that I can't. The whole difference between men and women even in an age of equality is that we have the right to bear children. Something a man can't do even with the marvels of medical science he can't do it. We are the mothers, the ones that see to the wounds of our young, get up early to curl hair on picture day, ask ourselves everyday while we work am I still a good mom if I didn't make it to the book fair today at school?!
So is it odd for me to think that by taking away this right I was given than I am not the same? That I am somehow not a woman anymore? I dunno if there is a right answer to that...I do know that even if I don't have this "simple procedure" then the chances of me having to have a full hysterectomy in a few years lingers high above my head and it won't matter then. So I guess I will have the simple procedure done...But hey at least there's no more midnight runs to the grocery store once a month because I didn't plan ahead! There's always a bright side to everything!

Tricare allready has my referral in place and I go into for my shot that I have to get 2-3 weeks before hand sometime this week...No backing out then!

One of those days

Okay it's been one of those days...well actually it's been one of those months! My husband came on home R&R at the end of June and beginning of July. That was really nice....we did some fun stuff and mostly just hung out and caught up on things. He of course had to lay some laminate floor we had but I hadn't had a chance to put down yet....gotta keep busy! He called me a slave driver~Not likely! Unfortunately he had to go back...but only for about 70 days so his time there is very limited!
I am not sure what it is lately, perhaps the heat or maybe just loneliness that I feel but I have been thinking a lot about things. Or maybe it's just that a few things have hit be rather hard this month and I have been drawing into myself and my thoughts have turned to introspection. Don't you hate when that happens?
I am leaving for training in August to go to San Diego which should be fun because I have never been to San Diego before...of course i've driven thru there but never spent anytime there. I have a volunteer job for the military and I hope that I am able to do a good job. Everyone thinks that I will but sometimes I can be such a perfectionist or is that an over achiever? Either way I suppose... Now i have to come up with things for a newsletter to send out...still trying to figure out what the last ombudsman did and such...she's not as much help as one would think. I also have another volunteer job for the Seabees which is much more of a managerial position rather than a one on one with the families. So that should be cake...just keeping up with what the local detachment ones are doing and making sure that the program is up and running to par. Talk about learning new commands though! I have two of them! I am so used to dealing with my local command here and know how things work and who to talk to...now i have to figure it out for two new ones! I'm sure it will all go well. Signing off for now I have too much to say and not enough time..sitting here waiting to see if my husband will email me tonight but it's almost 11 so I doubt if he will be able to. His internet seemed to go down earlier today so I am wondering if it will be back up or not. Awww the joys of the information highway!

I love these pocket tokens! I sent the one with the Angel and the yellow ribbon to my husband and he came home on leave and as I cleaned out his pockets to wash his uniform I found it in with his change. It was scratched and used and when I asked him about it he said of course he carries his Angel with him everyday! It's the little things that matter most!