Christmas is Coming

Well Christmas is coming...do I have all my presents done? Yeah I wish! I am making gift baskets for most of the people on my list but I swear they will be done THIS weekend! I just have a few other things to buy and then i'm done. Hubby bought me my present last night and hooked it up....my house is now a wireless haven that I can use my laptop on the couch or anywhere I want! I'm very excited because I hate sitting at my desk and having to use the laptop. He was going to buy me a Siruis Satellite radio but I told him I wanted that after the New Year because that's when I get my new car for work and will need it because I will be driving around all day. I saw no sense in paying for it and not being able to use it till then really anyway. So he keeps saying that it sucks because he has to keep telling me about my presents. He wanted this hooked up before christmas though so when the kids are here they can use the laptops especially my daughter because that is what she is getting for christmas. Then I put a stop to the satellite radio LOL And the gym membership I wanted he said just to go and get whenever I wanted. I keep asking for a robe but I think he doesn't like the idea....He prefers naked LOL So who knows I guess i will see if I get a robe or not! I put up the decorations but waiting for my daughter to be here to put up the tree with her. We are going to use our red white and blue decorations that we bought two years ago and have never put up because last year we didn't have a tree. So it's going to be a patriotic christmas this year. I am hoping to get a picture of the family in front of the tree :) Well I better get going on my christmas stuff. I am going to begin to write more on here like I used to. It won't be that hard now that I am wireless baby!!

First Day Tommarrow

Okay well tommarrow is my first day at my new job so I need to go take a bath and relax so I can get to bed before 3 am. I have to say that i'm trying very hard to be excited about it--and failing miserably. It's kinda a step down for me but that's okay. I know the people seem nice...we shall see how it goes. It doesn't pay as well as I want but right now it pays more than some other jobs. I have the coffee pot primed, the lunch made, clothes picked out and the alarm clock set. I am good to go for the morning....the weirdest part is that it has been a 1 1/2 since I have worked a normal job. I didn't work for 7 months then drove with my hubby and haven't worked at all for a month. I enjoy not working...except for the fact that I just can't figure out who to have the money I want to have when I don't work! Well tommarrow is the start of my 40 hour a week future!

The Ball-I'm beginning to hate this day.

Okay I couldn't think of a good title for this post. But hey he's mad at me so I guess that might work! Why is it that the last little while I just feel like I can't do anything right? So today is the Navy Ball....He likes to wear his Dinner Dress Blues to it rather than his regular dress blues. I took his shirt to be laundered and pressed, bought him a new pair of pants (apparently I lost them while he was deployed because when he got back and after 2 years of not wearing them they were missing) I have hemmed them and pressed them, took his Uniform Jacket to have the new rank sewn on....and at the same time during the interim I have misplaced the box where his cuff links are, a button off his jacket is missing so that is my fault because at some point during the trip to the seamstress and back the button is gone. I was sitting there while she sewed the rank patch on so I have to call her this morning and see if she has it. I have no idea where I put his dress socks so I guess I will have to buy some new ones along with the cufflinks.

This morning when he said the button is missing I guess I asked him too many times if he was sure....I asked him "What button?" (He answered) "Are you sure it was there before I took it over there?" (He answered) "It's not the button that is in the jewelry box that you took off?" <---My bad Should have stopped at "What Button?" But silly me I tend to ask more questions than he thinks is appropriate. So i've only been awake an hour and it's allready been a shitty day...just wait till I have to put on pantyhose!

We don't have a lot of money right because we changed jobs so I had considered not having my hair done but with it being so long and my lack of skills regarding the back part I had changed my mind about what I was going to do with it and suggested we drop by the store and get a barrette so I could pull the front part back...well that prompted a bit of a snappy reply to him about not caring about my hair (it was more colorful than that but i'm being nice) because apparently I decided to do a bun, which looked stupid--leave it straight and kinda curl it--doesn't look formal enough and now a barrette?!?! HOW DARE I be worried and self concious and hate the way that my hair looks and consider more than the one option!! I'm always doing that though...considering my options and mentioning them out loud...You'd think I would see someone about that! But no I haven't seeked professional help for that habit yet.

I am beginning to feel bad about myself some days and I've been terribly depressed and alone now that I am home by myself and I couldn't find any job that I felt was "up to my standards and experience". Nobody seems to know that but me....I mention it sometimes...silence...okay then i'll go do the dishes. I'm sure it will get better. I've got 9 hours till the ball i'm sure my puffy eyes will look fine.

CRSC

Combat-Related Special Compensation
Simply put Combat-Related Special Compensation (CRSC) provides military retirees a monthly compensation that replaces their VA disability offset. This means that qualified military retirees with 20 or more years of service that have "combat related" VA-rated disability will no longer have their military retirement pay reduced by the amount of their VA disability compensation...... (read More from Military.Com)

I Blame California

E Coli is everywhere isn't it? (Ummm I have a very awful explanation for why this keeps happening in cali if you wanna know :) )
So when I can't lose weight because everything that is healthy and that we are told is good for us in this world is causing death, paralysis, kidney failure and god only knows how much more things---Well ya'll I blame California!
It's not me...after all I have always know that processed food is better. The more preservatives it has it's safer for me. After all nothing harmful can actually survive when they cook something for so long (Dinty Moore Stew) and then pump it full of preservatives (Cheetos and Twinkies) that's all we get is pure uncontaminated food. So for all those wondering what's safe to have for dinner tonight...Forget the Salad Bar, Don't even think of eating Subway's fresh ingredients and steer clear of the produce aisle--Instead head over to the frozen food section and pick up some TV Dinner's and know you are giving your family a safe meal tonight.
Pick up some of those Lean Pockets--Veggies galore in those! And once you get done eating all that sodium you will find that you are a bit thirsty. Be Careful though...don't reach for the tap water you never know what critters will bite back when you drink it, instead grab a $1.50 bottle of water on your way out of the store!

A Wasted Saturday

This morning I got a phone call that woke me up. I didn't get to it in time and was still so sleep groggy I didn't want to call back so I will call back later. But anyway it woke me up...rather early considering what time I went to bed as well. So I made my breakfast, coffee and sat down to check my email. Nothing exciting so I did my normal thing...click on a favorite and keep going from there. Of course I can normally end up 100 million miles away from where I began! Which is what happened. I'm not sure how many times I bring up things that begin with "So the other day I was researching some things online" Okay I really do RESEARCH things online because I have to start typing up the newsletter for my volunteer job.....and I look up a bunch of stupid stuff as well...I mean my latest search list:

• NMCB 18
• TAMP
• Gerbil
• Door Moldings
• Carpet
• Roller Girls
• Support Military Families
• Cancer
• Gerbil Advertising
• Jobs That Pay you to do nothing <---Didn't get anything useful in case you are wondering

Okay but enough about that...Anyway I went to my usual boards...realized that sometimes I think about typing something that might be offensive to others so decided against posting anything...and found my way on YouTube. Watched some good video's, one got me to thinking about when Hubby was gone....it was a tribute to Military Wives and part of a poem that was in the video struck home "For those that figured you would remodel the house while they are gone to fill your time....Then realized you didn't know what you were doing and wished you had some help" I just began to picture myself one late night in my bathroom with a sledgehammer beating the vanity up with it because it wouldn't come off the wall. I knew there were screws but I didn't know the damn thing was gorilla glued to the wall as well....and I was almost in tears because I couldn't get it and I knew if hubby was here he would get it off...I dunno it made me laugh.

Oh and the gerbil thing....Does anyone remember the nasty little gerbil commercial from years ago...It looked like a mouse on crack and it used to dance around...I could swear it was for Domino's or something...But anyway that stupid gerbil would freak me out!!! I was looking for it online but since I can't remember who it was for...I can't find it. So if someone can point me in the right direction-most appreciated!

A Friend & A Fleeting Conversation

Well I got to talk to an "old friend" today for a few minutes...I'm not going to mention names but it was someone that I met on yahoo while my husband was deployed. The last 6 months of his deployment kinda sucked. I was so busy the first 8 months...doing support groups, emails, taking care of everyone else I didn't have time to think about me. Then everyone else came home and the emails stopped, the phone calls stopped, the support groups stopped....All I had to think about was me by myself. I was suffering from insomnia and never slept....so it was great because I could stay up to talk to hubby on the computer and after he had to go work I chatted with "my boys" as hubby called them. Soldiers mainly, a couple marines but all over in the sandbox except for one in Bosnia.

There was one who really helped me survive every day and not be so lonely. I know he probably doesn't know it or even think about it but he really did make my days better....when I would log on I would look and hope he was on. Because he didn't want to talk to me about my breasts or sex or anything like that...he didn't try to impress me (I don't impress easily) he was just there to talk about nothing with...and of course talk about his wife. We talked about his wife and my hubby A LOT LOL

So I was able to talk to him for a few tonight....things didn't go as smoothly as they did for my hubby and dealing with coming back...or maybe mine just doesn't talk about things that much. But it was good to hear that things are going good for him now. It saddens me when I hear about guys having issues when they get back....it shouldn't be that way but I can understand why it is. But he had to go quickly, for now I'm happy for a few minutes with an old friend, even if he is virtual.

Wish I was a Workin Gal

Well i'm trying to find a job....not as easy as one would expect. Although I am getting quite tired of people saying to me "Oh well you should be able to get a job anywhere!" Like i'm not looking or something. I can get a job anywhere...too bad I am looking for a good paying job, doesn't require weekend work, not downtown, in an office, business casual, involves computer work instead of drinking coffee and sitting on my butt behind an 18 inch steering wheel!

It's funny how once you say you can drive a truck that's all people want to label you as. Ummm did someone forget the 6 years of management, computer, office skills that I have?!?! Don't you see on my resume that I can manage a body shop with my eyes close AND tell you what is wrong with your car?!?! What about my great customer service skills...you know how people call me in when they have to deal with the tricky customers?!?!

Oh yeah I forgot...I have a CDL so i'm a truck driver.....a good truck driver but nonetheless a truck driver...Job hunting sucks. By the way I have a killer resume-

So onto other things....right now I have forwarded my resume onto a staffing agency. They have a great job that I would love to get $13 an hour temp $16 an hour after permanent hire...not quite what i'm used to making but hey all those jobs are taken at the moment!

The guy at Job Service says "What were you making in your last job?" Well the last job I had I was paid by the mile so that is hard to compute...."Okay the last hourly job you had?" Ummmm about $21 per hour....."What is the minimum you will take per hour now?" Rolling my eyes and shuddering I whisper....$10....he said to put down $15. Yeah right...so I guess i'm not actually looking for a job here then! So I humored him....put down $15 and went home and changed it online to a more realistic wage....I could get more than $15 but then only in the field I was in--Autobody. Too bad those jobs are all taken right now.

"Tommy" (not his real name but I must protect the innocent) said my resume was quite impressive and he would keep it near him in case his new hire estimator didn't work out....I'm sure the mortgage company would definately understand our late payment...once I tell them how impressive I am.

It's off to an interview for me....for what job you ask?!? OHHHHhhhhhh I forgot to mention didn't I? Truck driver my dears...what else?

You think your MIL is bad?

Had I not read this story was from Salt Lake I could have guessed...married in August--Baby due in May--Hmmm gotta love the honeymoon!!
Bride's Parents Charged With Kidnapping
By DEBBIE HUMMEL, Associated Press Writer
1 hour ago

SALT LAKE CITY - A pre-wedding shopping trip for a 21-year-old bride ended with felony charges against her parents, who she says kidnapped her and drove her 240 miles to Colorado, trying to talk her out of the nuptials along the way and holding her until she missed the ceremony.

"I've never had a case quite like this," Utah County Attorney Kay Bryson said Tuesday after charging Lemuel and Julia Redd with second-degree felony kidnapping.

Bryson said he met with the couple's daughter, Julianna, and her now-husband, Perry Myers, before charging the parents. "It is strange that parents would go to that extent to keep an adult daughter from marrying the man that she had chosen to marry," he said.

The Redds told their daughter they were taking her on a shopping trip Aug. 4 and then drove from Provo to Grand Junction, Colo., according to Provo police Capt. Rick Healey. Myers, 23, called police when his bride didn't attend a pre-wedding dinner with his parents that night.

The Redds spent the night in Colorado and drove back to Provo, about 40 miles south of Salt Lake City, the next day, Healey said. They arrived after the young couple was supposed to have been married in a ceremony that day at The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints Temple in Salt Lake City.

"I was totally confused and manipulated," Julianna Myers told KTVX-TV in Salt Lake City. She said she supports the charges and hopes her parents get help.

"They had their concerns, their reasoning," she said. "Honestly I don't understand. It had nothing to do with Perry."

Bryson said after reviewing the police investigation it was clear a crime was committed.

The couple, both students at Brigham Young University, were married in the temple on Aug. 8, Myers said. They are expecting their first child in May.

"We were just glad the way it ended and she just came back and she was OK," Myers said. "We've gone forward since then.

Lemuel Redd, 59, and Julia Redd, 56, were charged Friday and are scheduled to make an initial court appearance Oct. 26. If convicted, they could face one to 15 years in prison.

A call to a listing for Lemuel H. Redd at the address in Monticello, Utah, listed in court documents went unanswered Tuesday. No attorney for the Redds is listed in court documents.

Copyright 2006 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.

Who's flying to your bedside?

There are some conversations you have with your spouse and they don't seem that weird...But I guess it depends on what context you have them in. I have had "weird" conversations with mine that others may not understand unless they have faced the same fears and questions as I have being the "other half" of a dedicated service member....

ME:"Hey Honey...weird question but, if you were to be severly injured and need to be brought to the States or Germany who would you want to be there? Because they will fly 3 people there on the military's dime."

HIM:"Really? I didn't know that...you know more about that than I do I guess...hmmm well I would want you there"

ME:"Well Duh! I'm flying there whether I pay for it or they do...I got a passport and a birth certificate, i'm ready to roll"

HIM:"Unless I can't talk you wouldn't know about it anyway because I have it set up so they aren't suppose to notify you unless I can't speak" <---This is so I don't get a call in the middle of the night letting me know that he's been injured but not getting all the facts and having to sit and worry till he can call me...better to get the story from him than someone else.

ME: "Honey, If i'm flying it's probably pretty serious and you probably won't be able to talk....I mean I think they can manage to fix your ankle or something without me being there pestering them"

HIM:"Well I guess just you, after all Mom wouldn't come if there is blood around" Thinking of the pictures I have seen and the stories I know of...i'm just thinking that she wouldn't be as much help as one would hope.

ME:"Okay well I just wanted to know so if it ever came up I would know how to handle it...I want people there that would make your recovery easier and that you would want to see once you woke up"

I sometimes hate to be this prepared....who do you want to fly to your bedside if you are on the verge...and where do you want to be buried if you die.

A Few Good Things

So many people say they want to do something for the troops but may not have the time to dedicate to writing letters or sending care packages. Many locations there are tons of packages that get sent but a lot of the time you hear about soldiers/sailors/marines just wishing that their families could have more....

www.ourmilitarykids.org is helping do just that...

"The mission of Our Military Kids, Inc. is to ensure that the children (K thru 12) of deployed and severely injured Reserve and National Guard personnel can afford to participate in activities such as youth sports, fine arts and tutoring programs that are so important in their young lives during this stressful time."

If you know of any sporting deployed or active duty members they can go to this website and get free magazines sent to an APO/FPO address.

Just a couple good things today to pass on. Have a few other things to post but need to get to bed...Job Interview tommarrow!!! Wish me luck!!!

What have you done?

Simple question Simple answer.

I know what some other people have done.

Coffee Calculations

Awww the smell of coffee at midnight....an insomniac's world! I bought a coffee pot today at the big "W". $9.97-wow what a bargain....till I made coffee in it. Apparently it is so new and clean that the water just flows through it like....ummmm water. So I am happy that I have my coffeepot and I go to get my nice cup o joe and what should I see...the fact that apparently 1 tsp of creamer is TOO MUCH for this brew!

It appeared I was drinking dirty milk. I upped the coffee allowance per pot---still nothing! I'm up to a 1/2 cup of coffee for each pot and it's still not very strong. Maybe I should have checked out the Folgers Perfect Amount calculator before I began my quest....according to them it's a 1/1 ratio of cups of water and tablespoons of coffee until you get above 4 servings of coffee (serving being 6 oz). Then it gets tricky.....I won't get into the mathematical equations I was doing on the Texas Instruments calculator from my college days BUT according to the perfect amount calculator for 12 servings (My coffee pot says 12 cup capacity....does anyone know if that is CUPS or SERVINGS...because a CUP is 8 oz and they are basing a serving on 6 oz....If I went off the calculator for the perfect amount I would be off if I went by cups instead of servings....oh well doesn't matter) is 12 tbsp. Hmmm 12 tbsp is what? (I should watch Martha more often I suppose)

Awww the wonders of the internet....Measurement Conversion Table shows that 12 tbsp would be 3/4 of a cup. Hmmm so apparently I am lacking coffee. But now why does my 1/8 of a cup say "Coffee Scoop" on it?!? I think it would be easier if my 3/4 cup said it.....I'd much rather use it once than put 6 scoops in...I attempted to see how many cups of coffee were in a container but I couldn't find it...I did find "Gifts in a Jar" when I searched though....hmmmm is that still popular because if so I'm going to Costco to get the ingredients...Christmas is done!

Anyway back to the coffee....If I drink 3 pots of coffee a day and my coffee cup from Iraq is 8 ounces based on above measurements how many days will a container of coffee last? I swear it's Pre Algebra all over again....Screw it I think this is why people pay $3.85 for Starbucks.

Hmmm Sleeping would be good right now

Good Work NMCB 17

Here is an article regarding some great work that NMCB 17 did in July. Good job Bees!

Navy Seabees work to revive Marine memorial
STORY TOOLS
Email this story Print By Jonathan Garcia, Rocky Mountain News
July 13, 2006
GOLDEN - At the west corner of Colfax Avenue and West 6th Avenue stands a monument to heroism: the Marine Corps Memorial.
It's been there for more than 30 years, an obscure landmark on the urban landscape.

The president of the Marine Corps Memorial Association himself admitted he had never noticed it until he got involved in the group.

That's about to change thanks to a much-needed restoration. A group of Navy Seabees began work on the memorial last Saturday.

It's one of two memorials in the U.S. dedicated by the Marine commandant to all Marines. Built in September 1975, it features insignias of all six Marine divisions and four Marine air wings and a time capsule with Marine mementos and letters from President Gerald Ford and other officials.

The memorial was built on asphalt, which only has a 30-year life span, according to Joe Porter, president of the MCMA.

A division of Seabees from the Naval Mobile Construction Battalion Seventeen will be replacing the asphalt with more durable concrete as well as installing 52 flagpole supports.

MCMA plans on displaying all 50 state flags at the memorial, along with the Marine Corps flag and a 50-foot-high, 10-by-19-foot U.S. flag.

The Seabee battalion also has done construction for the military in Iraq and other places, according to MCMA Secretary Rick Baum.

"These guys are the ones who are operating the bulldozer with one hand and holding a gun with the other," Baum said.

Brad Perot, builder 2nd class, said he was glad he and the other Seabees could help the Marines' memorial.

"I feel very honored," Perot said. "A lot of those people did not come home.

"It's the least I can do."

The Seabees flag will be put under the U.S. flag during and after construction.

Perot said he's sure the giant American flag will bring greater attention to the memorial, which he also admits to never noticing.

Perot said the Seabees should be done with the concrete work by Sunday.

Priorities

Hubby has always felt that being in the Navy is very important to him. It's not just a thing that he goes to on the weekends. It means something to him and he takes everything very seriously and sometimes the military takes precedence over everything else.....BUT it's good to know that sometimes his choice is different. When asked if he could fly to Battalion next drill weekend because what his job is now is very important and needs a lot of work to get done before they deploy again...He said "I can't Chief...my wife would kill me because the Navy Ball is next month and if I don't take her out on her one night a year that she likes to go out then she would kill me" Damn Straight! Nice to know i'm important sometimes LOL

The End is Always Worse

Ok hubby and I have decided to switch companies. Actually it's been decided that I will come off the road and not drive anymore and he will haul compressed helium out of Wyoming. I think financially and family wise this is much better. The company we are with had a hard time getting him home for drill weekend when he was driving solo and didn't see it as a big deal or something. But it is a big deal! So that began the downfall of our unhappiness where we are currently. And now of course he has a bigger and better job with Battalion so it's important that he is there every weekend.

So we are making the change. There was a conference at Battalion this weekend (I was suppose to be there but unfortunatly financially I couldn't because one of us had to work :) ) SOOOoooo this is my las load. I'm in Detroit and am going to head to Missouri today. I have to deliver this load and then pick up a load headed to south texas which is routed through the yard. Hubby flew home last night (He called me but I was sleeping and told him I had to be up in a couple hours please call back in the morning LOL) and he is doing his last paperwork stuff with the new company today and then he is driving the Jeep out to pick me and the dogs up in Missouri.

So of course since this is the last week of me driving professionally (probably anyway at least over the road) this has to be the worst week ever! Let's just say Walmart sucks and the paperwork was all screwed up this week and a load that should have lasted like 4 days lasted instead 6. So that load ended up not making me any money. And I get this load. Doesn't pay very well but hey it gets me to the place I need to be to get to the yard.....and at this point i'm just done. DONE! But of course it's downtown ghetto Detroit ("Please do not park overnight this is a high crime area and not safe") Ummm k....and you have to back up from a different street for like a block. Couldn't be easy could it?!? I should have bought another pack of smokes....they say it will be awhile :( Well anyway signing off for now....

Windex & A Yellow Jacket

Today my daughter wanted "something chocolate" that were the perimeters that I was given around 4 pm. So I ran to the store to look for something that would appease the beast....as I was driving home minding my own business a bee must have snuck down my shirt at some point and stung me...I was driving and reached back because I wasn't sure what actually got me...I could feel it in my back still and tried to pull it loose...well that just apparently pissed it off because it stung me again...and once more for giggles before I was able to jack the car into the driveway really fast and jump out. I ran inside and yelled at my daughter to look and see if it was still stuck to my back...yes it was and so she hit it with a shoe to get it off my back and we preceded to kill it. There it was laying on the floor venom coming out along with what looked like a huge piece of my skin left on it's stinger....a YellowJacketOf course I had no ammonia so I ran around the house looking for something....hunched over in pain as the piercing pain shot through my back....Windex...well at least I have that and so I told her to spray it on my back in hopes it had ENOUGH ammonia in it to help ease the pain a bit....It didn't help....I ended up sitting down on the couch and soon I began to feel odd...my chest got tight, my vision was beginning to blur and I felt dizzy....I went to the store to get some medicine but once I was there I was having difficulty walking and my brain was all fuddered up. I ended up not getting the medicine because I couldn't remember what I went to the store for....eventually went home and spoke to my mom about it and she yelled at me to go to the store again and buy some benedryl. I couldn't see it once I got there and asked the pharmacist to please show me where it was...of course I had been looking right at it and missed it. I took it and within a few minutes began to feel better....I'm wiped out but no longer feel like I am drunk...

I wanted to sleep earlier but I had told my daughter that if I fell asleep and couldn't wake up or looked like I couldn't breathe and gave her the phone to call 911. I was scared that she would freak out and poke me once and whisper "Mom can you wake up?" and I would wake up from my nap to find some EMT standing above me LOL So I am better now....it still hurts like a sucker but no ambulance ride was needed.... It's a pain to be alone and not have a ride to the hospital!

Friendship & Drama

Go through your phone book, call people and ask them to drive you to the airport. The ones who will drive you are your true friends. The rest aren't bad people; they're just acquaintances.
Jay Leno

So I was thinking the other day as my daughter and I were having a discussion about her "friends". They are so full of drama that if I had that much going on when I was 11 I would never have gotten through 6th grade!! I guess I kinda did....

My best friend was helping take care of her mom who had been hurt when they were driving home from the daycare and were hit by a drunk driver at 5:30 in the afternoon. Her mother had survived after 9 surgeries and had at least been able to walk with crutches short distances. My friend had scars from the surgeries on her back and her shoulder and her hip. She would never run track again or be able to erase the memories of her 5 year old brother who never made it out of the car. I suppose drama is all in how you look at it.

My daughter can't seem to be friends for more than a day with certain girls she knows. It's just so much work for them. Someone is always emailing someone else and saying they are so and so and that so and so doesnt like you anymore...blah blah blah. "I hate you..... I'm sorry" the emails go back and forth. My daughter reported one as spam and now wishes that she could get emails from her....*sigh* They will invite one another to go to the movies and then wait there for 3 hours and the other person doesn't show up. How is this normal? Why does this happen? Because they are too young....and care too much about whether they have someone they can refer to as their friend.....

See i'm an adult. I do the adult thing. I delete your number out of my phone. It's simple! I don't have an address book that I write things down in....I should considering I found my cell phone once at the bottom of the washing machine and somehow it had stopped saving numbers on the sim card and was saving it to the phone anyway...So if you haven't gotten a call from me in 2 years you might want to try to call! Of course if you were deleted then I just won't click "save" again :) But anyway do you think it's because i'm too old for drama....or too lazy?

I'll go with lazy....it's easier to say that than I'm old (Going to be 30 in March....awww i'm ancient LOL) I try too hard sometimes to be someone's friend I think....I always seem to be making an effort then I begin to think that it's not worth it.....after all friendship shouldn't be that hard. It should just flow....you have things in comman then you figure out you like to hang out. Maybe hanging out is just being with someone! When i'm by myself on the truck and if I don't talk to my hubby sometimes I can go more than a day without having a conversation with someone.....But I can't change that....I have very few friends. Once again it goes back to drama....I meant laziness!

When hubby was gone I had a friend....we did lots of stuff together. He was great I loved spending time with him and some even teased me that I had a "fill in" without the benefits. It didn't matter if we were out at a party, a bar, the movies or just eating chinease at my house. He actually helped me rip out my vanity in my bathroom when I was remodeling!! Now a real friend will come over when you have sweat dripping down your paint covered hair and your face is streaked with dirt because you have been working on the house all day and give himself a hernia trying to pry loose a vanity from 1979!

Then he pissed me off a party...I thought he did something inappropriate once....it had nothing to do with me really except that I didn't think he was respectful of our friendship.....like when you are visiting with a friend at lunch or something and they spend half their time on the cell phone while you are looking around trying to ease drop on other people because you have nothing else to do. I actually gave him a second chance...which is odd for me but I did....then he made a big deal about taking me out for my birthday.... and skipped out to help another "friend". So I was all dressed up to go out and nowhere to go....I didn't even have anyone else I could call....So I stopped calling...or I was "busy" when actually I didn't leave the house for days and even a week at a time except to the store. I had the best social life ever even if it was non existent!

So the drama was too much for me....I'm lazy remember? I'm a social retard sometimes I think LOL But that's okay....Am I saving my daughter from heartache when I tell her that friends like her's aren't worth it? Or am I forcing her to live like me....with nobody to pick her up at the airport?

Smokin Hot

Today I weighed in....8 pounds lost so far. Now mind you some of it might be water weight but you know those 8 pounds have been on for almost 5 months. SOoooo i'm not overly concerned that they are gone no matter how they left! I'm going to walk tonight, I've been trying to convince myself that all the housework I have done has been exercise enough but I want to actually be doing something. Maybe I will pull out my new workout tape...Carmen Electra's Strip Aerobics! Hubby didn't mind spending the money on it LOL He's hoping it will teach me some new skills....what he doesn't know is I have those skills allready just don't use them near enough LOL

I haven't gotten near enough organizing done but hubby says that if I don't want to come back on the truck mid August when he comes home for drill that I don't have to. Which is nice...I may stay a bit longer really depends on the money situation but I would like to stay and spend more time with my daughter so we shall see....

I am drinking very nasty coffee out of my new coffee cup from Disneyland. It's really the only souvenir I have from there....I did buy a tank top which is really cute but I need to make sure what bra I wear with it because the material is very thin and shows a lot hugs every area...of course I figured this out after speaking with the neighbor and the contractor who his doing our retaining wall! Hubby joked that maybe we will get a discount from the contractor! LOL

I got called "smokin hot" due to a picture that I had taken a bit ago yesterday. That was nice... I always am "sexy" according to hubby but sometimes it's nice when it becomes an out of the blue incident rather than and everyday occurance. I will feel much better once I lose 20 pounds....then I will feel smokin hot. Maybe by drill weekend I will be closer.

I should go and lay outside and get a tan a bit today. I need a tan....on the rest of my body but I refuse to pay for it this year. We shall see if I can get it for free.....Well gotta go mow the lawn before the code enforcement guy gets called because our lawn is too long. Awww I love our neighbors!!!

Tommarrow is a Brand New Day

I am currently at home by the way and dear hubby is on the road turning out the miles and adding money to our bank account (I hope he is at least!! Because all i'm doing is taking it out!!!) I've been home for a week now. Happily vacationing with my daughter. We spent a very nice 4 days at Disneyland and "swam in the pool everyday except one" <----- She tells that to everyone who asks what she did LOL I have been terrible at this whole blogging thing since hubby came home but then I haven't been able to devote anytime to myself much and this would be considered one of those "taking time to do something for yourself and enjoy the moment's" I dropped my daughter back off at my mom's because she has to practice riding her horse for Fair which starts on Sunday. We have to take everything to the fairgrounds to get ready for it on Saturday though so i'm driving back there on Friday morning. I have taken a month off to spend time with her but also to get things done at the house so I had to come back for a few days and get SOMETHING accomplished here....even if it is the dishes LOL It's 12:01 now so I guess it's my brand new day.
I start my diet in the morning. I've been thinking about it for a long time and of course have needed to do it for even longer. I have gained so much weight the last 9 months due to busy life and stress and everything else (truck stop food I think is a main culprit and lack of exercise) that I need to do something I can't handle myself anymore! So we shall see but everything points to that this will work. I'm not going to mention it till I actually lose some weight but wish me luck! I've got to get now and do the dishes!

Fireflies

I forgot...Fireflies are so neat....I went for a little walk to get some air out of the truck and at first they were like scared or something I dunno and then all of a sudden I was standing there and saw a flash of light...you almost think that you imagined it...then there are more and more all around you surrounding you with twinkling light...It's like you are standing in the middle of the universe and walking through the stars. That's one of the coolest things about the south...fireflies. Just like a woman to think the whole universe surrounds her :)

Headed West

Well i'm headed west at the moment. Right now i'm at a shitty little service area on the Oklahoma turnpike between Tulsa and Oklahoma City supposedly taking my 10 hours in the sleeper...I gotta be in "Amarillo by morning" but due to my tiredness lastnight and I shut off the alarm and apparently fell asleep with the phone still in my hand (my cell is my alarm) I didn't leave Indiana when I wanted to....I left about 5 hours late. Sooooo needless to say it's been a long day and will be another one tommarrow. But it's an open appointment time which means I am just going to drop my trailer off and hook up to an empty and I just have to be there by 2359 tommarrow night. I just wanted to get there early so I could pick up my other load early and then get on my way up to Utah. But as it works out anyway I am only able to get there and drop my load and then drive to get my new load and go to sleep till the next day....running a little low on my hours. Which sucks because it will be a harder drive to Utah because I will have to only drive the hours I have each day I have no cushion left.

I've done okay this time by myself. It's been rather lonely with nobody to really talk to. My daughter each time I call doesn't seem to want to talk to me....she's busy--you know watching TV or playing with her "stack and sort cups" she's very good at that. But I ended up hanging up the phone tonight in tears which is my own fault....I started to get a bit angry with her because she wasn't talking and seemed to not want to...I said "are you busy or what because you aren't talking" she said "I am busy" I told her fine I would let her get back to whatever she was doing. It's not right for me to take my guilt out on her I suppose. But she doesn't udnerstand how upset I am right now and how badly I wish I was home with her and had a normal life again. How much I miss her everyday and I just wish I could be with her watching her do all the things that she does everyday. I hate this choice I have made. I feel like everyday I can't change things. When I told hubby that I missed her and that I was thinking maybe this isn't what I want to do anymore he got mad at me and started being rude and pissy. If I go home I am afraid that we won't make it. Never seeing each other and all that.

I guess what upsets me a bit is that he expects me to be out here all the time and doesn't see things and see how much drama I have going on in my heart every second. I thought I could do it...but I don't think that I can, being away from my daughter. Probably would be different if it was like we talked about....but we talked about me coming home for a couple weeks at a time.... as it stands I haven't been home in months. I have been able to stop for 3 times since february but it tears me up to leave again. The truth of the matter is that I was once happy doing this...but I don't think I am now. He drove truck while he was married to his ex wife...she stayed home with the kids....and I guess that maybe I feel like I am the one that has given up so much to be with him.....and that I don't get the same courtesy. Me staying home with her just doens't seem to be an option in his heart. We talked about it but we do that a lot...and when we talk abotu stuff I feel like that is all it is...talk...no action. Maybe one day it's going to be me saying this is the way it is going to be or not...I dunno...my heart is torn and I just wish that he could listen and see where I am coming from sometimes.....He said maybe we shouldn't have started driving after he got back so soon together because we are both used to living solitary lives since he was gone for 14 months.....I don't think that is it...He said this after us having a shitty week because I was extremly upset because he barely spoke to me and it had been 5 days since he said I love you....I figured out while he was gone and thought about getting the visit you never want to get that if you love someone you always make sure they know just in case....Somedays I feel that the man who used to make me feel so loved and sexy is too busy to do that anymore....When I was upset he used to try to find out why. Now he just doesn't ask. I'm not sure what I want to do career wise...but he gets mad when I say maybe not driving....we are all entitled to change our minds....he did. Without even asking what I thought...just decided that he was going to do something and that was that no talking about it ....I actually had to sit and grill him about it to find out.

I guess we will see after this summer.....I'm not sure what will happen...Maybe I will be on the truck and maybe I won't I dunno. Maybe i'm just having a moment right now...so much for stopping smoking :)

Bizarro World

Seinfield had an episode with the Bizarro world...where everything you know is right is the same but different....That's how I feel right now at this moment! I am currently sitting in Kentucky--Berea Kentucky to be exact...exit 76 on I75. I found a truck stop to park at..I saw in the truck stop directory it had a 24 hour restaurant...that's fantastic! Wrong again sherlock--it has a restuarant next door that you have to walk through the chain link and barbed wire fence to get to but they close at 9 pm...due to the fact that they are still working off their "Winter Hours" Now seriously what restuarant in a smallish town surrounded by businesses has "Winter Hours" it's not like they are in a resort community...well okay the Kentucky Music Hall of Fame is here. Hmmmm.....maybe that is a resort community! Okay seriously truck stops (older ones) are not always in the nicest neighborhoods...this one is a rather seedy old school area. I walk into the building to see if they had anything to eat....they didn't really besides some nasty looking little debbie snacks but I got an interesting drink...it's a "Concord Grape Soda" called MR FROSTIE and it's got a picture of Santa Claus on it LOL So I'm sitting here typing with the wonderful smell of urine wafting up through my drivers window as I sip my Mr Frostie drink (est 1939) wishing I had something for dinner listening to Michael Savage. But I should get back to what I was saying...I walk into the truck stop (using that term LOOSELY!) and there were actually quite a few people in there...of course there was the smoke screen you couldn't even see through as I struggle to the bathroom....the bathroom was pretty much what I expected. Although the small hotel (yes it was from a hotel because you could see the imprint still a little bit) bar of soap that served to wash your hands was not what I thought would be a good substitute for actual hand washing! I decided to use a santizing cloth when I got out to the truck. Coming out of the bathroom I noticed that the woman working there had brought her 7 year old son to work with her...which is nice to spend time with your children. Of course she was keeping him busy by giving him money to put into the Keno Machine. I'm sure it's a skill that he will use later on in life...but unfortunately she wasn't telling him that Keno is a House game! I'm going to go to the Super Walmart in the morning and pick up some things for the truck...gotta get snacks so I can loose my big butt that i've gained since hubby came home! I don't think I could ever truly describe this sad little truck stop....but apparently it's a gathering place because it is almost midnight here on a Wednesday and there are still 10 cars parked in front--playing keno most likely. It's off to bed for me gotta figure out when I need to leave so I can make it to my destination in time for tommarrow. I'm still trucking and will try to find interesting things to write about :)

Bizarro World

Seinfield had an episode with the Bizarro world...where everything you know is right is the same but different....That's how I feel right now at this moment! I am currently sitting in Kentucky--Berea Kentucky to be exact...exit 76 on I75. I found a truck stop to park at..I saw in the truck stop directory it had a 24 hour restaurant...that's fantastic! Wrong again sherlock--it has a restuarant next door that you have to walk through the chain link and barbed wire fence to get to but they close at 9 pm...due to the fact that they are still working off their "Winter Hours" Now seriously what restuarant in a smallish town surrounded by businesses has "Winter Hours" it's not like they are in a resort community...well okay the Kentucky Music Hall of Fame is here. Hmmmm.....maybe that is a resort community! Okay seriously truck stops (older ones) are not always in the nicest neighborhoods...this one is a rather seedy old school area. I walk into the building to see if they had anything to eat....they didn't really besides some nasty looking little debbie snacks but I got an interesting drink...it's a "Concord Grape Soda" called MR FROSTIE and it's got a picture of Santa Claus on it LOL So I'm sitting here typing with the wonderful smell of urine wafting up through my drivers window as I sip my Mr Frostie drink (est 1939) wishing I had something for dinner listening to Michael Savage. But I should get back to what I was saying...I walk into the truck stop (using that term LOOSELY!) and there were actually quite a few people in there...of course there was the smoke screen you couldn't even see through as I struggle to the bathroom....the bathroom was pretty much what I expected. Although the small hotel (yes it was from a hotel because you could see the imprint still a little bit) bar of soap that served to wash your hands was not what I thought would be a good substitute for actual hand washing! I decided to use a santizing cloth when I got out to the truck. Coming out of the bathroom I noticed that the woman working there had brought her 7 year old son to work with her...which is nice to spend time with your children. Of course she was keeping him busy by giving him money to put into the Keno Machine. I'm sure it's a skill that he will use later on in life...but unfortunately she wasn't telling him that Keno is a House game! I'm going to go to the Super Walmart in the morning and pick up some things for the truck...gotta get snacks so I can loose my big butt that i've gained since hubby came home! I don't think I could ever truly describe this sad little truck stop....but apparently it's a gathering place because it is almost midnight here on a Wednesday and there are still 10 cars parked in front--playing keno most likely. It's off to bed for me gotta figure out when I need to leave so I can make it to my destination in time for tommarrow. I'm still trucking and will try to find interesting things to write about :)

My Absence

Wow I didn't realize it had been this long since I updated this....I have been through a lot since then. Some of it little things...some of it bigger things. Of course some days the little things seem a lot bigger! Hubby is gone...again. I'm by myself on the truck....again. It seems like it's been like this forever. But just a week and half and he will be back and hopefully things will change. He's been busy having to go home for the Navy and he went to see his son in Denver for a week last month. It's hard for me because being out here alone as much as I have since January is somedays very difficult. Physically and mentally. Right now my mom and daughter and step dad are in Pennsylvania at the moment because my step dad's mother is very ill so they drove out there to see her. Hubby is gone to China Lake and unable to communicate with me so it's been a very lonely few days. Besides the usual "Thanks for my fuel ticket" and "Have a nice day" I have spent 3 days and only talked to someone 2 times. Right now I miss being home, I think of all the things I could be doing...weeding my flowers, taking my evening walk, doing the dishes, painting the walls....I could go on and on! Sometimes I drive and I see people coming home from the grocery store with the car loaded with groceries and I miss that. Or I see someone with their child and it absolutely breaks my heart not seeing my own daughter. I have been able to stop by for a few hours a couple times....but if the truck doesn't move it still costs us money so someone has to keep it moving. I was off the truck for 2 weeks in February due to my cousin's death. I won't talk about that for now...i'm not sure if I will ever have any thoughts on his suicide that are worth putting down and sharing...except that it's senseless and a waste. But life has gotten me down a bit and haven't felt like typing anything. I think that will change...it's good to have an outlet! Will post again soon....with things that are a bit lighter !

Grumpier Old Woman

For some reason the last couple of days I have just been grumpy. Maybe it's knowing that we didn't get very many miles this week to turn in so next weeks paycheck will be small. Maybe it's that they had us drive 800 miles empty and gave us 3 days to do it and that makes for a very boring time. I'm not sure....poor hubby (half the time because the other half he deserves it!) I have been grumpy with him. Maybe it's that normally I take every emotion I have out on people and get it out rather than letting it fester inside of me so I get grumpy LOL Who knows. Right now we are headed from Chicao to Sacramento to drop off this load so we can get hubby back home on Thursday or Friday for drill this weekend. It will be his first time back since he came home from the sandbox. We had his patches for his uniform that we were suppose to sew on by now showing First Class but of course SOMEHOW in our truck it gets lost....he swears they are somewhere but we can't find them and lord only knows where in this 8 foot sleeper area they could be LOL So he will have to figure out how to get it sewed on so he's the correct rank by Saturday Morning. I am going to take the truck on rather than take time off because I have to stay home during Valentine's Day because my parents are going on vacation and so I will be driving by myself for a few days....I'm not worried...After all half the time I get free meals because drivers are so sweet LOL J/K Kinda....

A Truck Driver Nap

Hubby and I got home (which we are now and that is why I am publishing some of these posts that I haven't had a chance to put up yet) and we got some chinese food (okay it's Panda Express but nobody delivers to our area anymore that we like their food) and then we thought we would lay down for a short nap because I had only 4 hours of sleep after driving and being up for a total of 26 and he had been up and driving for about 10 hours and hadn't slept that much before that. So we lay down and figured afterwards we would get up and do some house cleaning and other things we needed....well we lay down....and 10 hours later we wake up LOL Damn now it's 3 am!!!! Great so now we are totally off on our sleep...of course had we kept driving he would have been on schedule but I would have just been going to bed....But we got lots done...nothing on TV but we ate some chinese (we got extra because you have to have leftover chinese to eat later) and I got all my printing and stuff done off the computer I wanted to get done and cleaned the kitchen...yikes living room next! The house is a mess because when we left to go drive we left 2 days before we thought we were going to and tore through the house gathering up everything we needed and haven't really had any time at home since then to clean up our mess. So it's off to fold laundry and mop the wood floors for me I guess!

Florida Rest Areas

Florida has the nicest rest areas....very clean! We happened to stop at the same rest area 2 times in one day....this is a rarity but it was because we delivered near it, had to stop for a conference call I had for the Navy, drove down the road and picked up a load near by then drove back to the rest area to let the dog out but that's not the point to this post. They were cleaning it both times we were there!!

But they also have security which patrols at night...which is very nice...especially for myself because I have the bathroom flashlight that I take with me (I used to take the leatherman pocket knife that hubby had but now we have the flashlight) because when I was driving years ago by myself there was some "incidents" that caused me to restict my use of rest areas at night if I can help it. I'm not sure if they (the FL DOT) care about the people at the rest area so much that they put the security there or the crime is so HIGH that it is a public need. I like to think people care!

Question regarding florida if someone can answer it for me though. One of those things you wonder as you drive along....the exits are soooooo far apart in some areas near Tampa...is this because they spread the exits out or the towns are spread out because there is so much land that is non developable or because the government owns a lot of the land and that is why there is no building on it? I wasn't sure if it had something to do with wetland preservation or maybe it just wasn't able to be built on because of the wetlands and couldn't sustain a community. Just a thought that came across my mind as I was driving...this happens a lot and maybe I remember to write them down...some are quite interesting...and some are not!

Fire & Lust Books

When I was younger I read every book I could find. Now i'm not talking about being like 8 but when I was older I started reading Romance novels. Just mainly because I had read every book in the juvenile section of the library and they were the biggest books I could find in the paperback section. I would read about 1200 pages a night (*6 hours*) so one day I decided I would write a book. My grandma (*who I absolutely adored and was my best friend, mentor and the person who believed in me 100% unconditionally*) was going to help me. But she always referred to Romance books (*she read them herself*) as Fire and Lust Books because she said only the good ones had a half naked man in tight breeches, a woman with a tight dress with a low bodice and a billowy skirt and the either the word Fire or Lust in the title! So *sigh* I never ended up writing my Fire and Lust book....but I continued to read them until the time that I found other things to occupy my time.....

Well the other day I saw a book on tape (*because we are driving it's the only way I can get to "read" a book*) called "Tin Angel" and it was 10.5 hours long which would get me through a driving shift and sounded interesting. So I rented it...started listening to it while my daughter and I were driving through Pennsylvania, Ohio, Indiana. It got to be very interesting and as I was driving sometimes I drift off and I hear it but I don't really hear it...I get absorbed into the story....suddenly I realized that this book on tape was NOT PG13!!!! It was definately a "fire and lust book" and there was a LOT of FIRE and a lot of LUST in some of these scenes. Now it was definately tastefully written but NOT for a 10 year old to listen to. I'm a big one to push for you to talk to your children about sex and educate them on such things because otherwise they will learn about it some other way...but the lessons this book on tape was giving was NOT the ones that she needed to learn! So I turned it off for awhile till she went to bed...of course hubby was in the back in the sleeper trying to go to sleep but the story (*which it was a very good story and a great read for anyone who didn't mind the sex scenes in it and it definately sucks you in to the story*) sucked him in and he was like "CHANGE THE DISK...COME ON WHERE"S THE REST OF THE STORY?!?!" So we ended up finishing the story once my daughter was off the truck and we listened to the last couple of hours while he drove from Wyoming down to Salt Lake where we live. Maybe one day I will write my Fire and Lust book and dedicate it to my grandmother...With a heroine that looks like her from the younger days with red hair and a billowing dress and of course her dark ruggedly handsome man with tight breeches on the front!

Southern Traditions

Okay i'm all for traditional food...i love grits, sweet tea, pecan pie and trying other traditional food from all over the country. Well NOT Rocky mountain oysters but hey I tried them once and that was enough! But we stepped into a gas station and i'm looking around for a snack down in Georgia/Florida area. I opened up a pot of "something" since I wasn't sure what it was although it advertised "A Southern Tradition". Hmmmm how to describe it....I thought as I looked down into the pot that it looked as if someone scraped the bottom of the sewer drain and added water and then put it on a steam tray to keep it warm...and it smelled even worse than that. It burnt my nose and then made me actually catch myself as I almost jumped back and threw the lid. I swear the smell stayed with me and I contemplated sticking my head in the toilet to wash off the stench. When I smell tequila (*i drank a little too much when I was younger so now I can't stand it*) it gives me the shivers up my back and this did the same thing but gave me the full body tremor's. What is it that caused me to lose my appetite and wish I had never lifted the lid to this pot of horrors?!?! BOILED PEANUTS! Now i'm not saying that they are disgusting...perhaps this place just let them sit for too long...or maybe they ARE this disgusting but MY GOD never have I been so disgusted in my life! The key to dieting....keep a pot of boiled peanuts going in the kitchen! The sign advertised "Picked green and quickly boiled to ensure the best green peanut taste"....apparently I'm not a fan of "green peanut taste" nor of this "Wonderful Southern Tradition". I will stick to the grits I guess....as I turned to the right to find something that might make me forget the look and smell of the Boiled Peanuts I ran into "Fried Chitlins (sp?) with SKIN STILL ATTACHED! now i love the pork rinds but now that I have seen deep fried pig skin...I'm rethinking the pork rinds. Needless to say I walked out with coffee and no snacks (300 calories saved for the day!)

3's Company

Well we are now sitting at home because we have a load that doesn't deliver till Tuesday in Reno and we live about 500 miles from there and ended up coming through the house. We were lucky enough to be able to have my daughter on the truck with us from the 27th-1st of January. It was great and she loved it. Although my mother will probably be cursing me because her sleep schedule is all messed up now! She was awake till about midnight or 1am and then sleeping till noon on the truck! LOL She stayed up with me while I drove and played video games on the laptop or listened to books on tape (She said she hated them but once we started listening to one that she found interesting she was telling Dad what it was all about when he woke up LOL) It was a bit more crowded than it usually is with just me, hubby and our dog but it was worth it to be able to spend time with her.

Christmas was great although we did get more money than presents because most people did not know what to get us LOL After all last year and the year before it was mainly just house remodel stuff....now it's stuff for the truck that we want. Which is fine because money always helps out with some of the big ticket items we want to purchase. We didn't get to see his son though which is sad...we have yet to see him because it's so hard to "schedule" time with his mother...but then I won't get into talking about her at this time! I hope everyone that reads this is doing good and I am headed to Reno...My mother said to put 50 cents in a slot machine for her...too bad it will be my 50 cents that wins and not her's LOL